First Love (1969)

Louisville (1969)
Originally uploaded by musicmuse_ca

The first guy I fell in love with, when I was 15 years old. It lasted a brief moment, but is forever in my mind.....

Our relationship was very sensual. We began that way. He led me on a "trust walk", which meant I was blindfolded and had to trust him completely to lead me and take care of me. He found all kinds of sensations to show me...touch, smell, taste. It awakened a passion in me, although it was not an overtly sexual approach in any way. But he moved me and brought me an innocent pleasure that awakened a desire in me. After the walk, we talked for the first time and kissed.

He loved me and wanted me to be his first. We tried all summer to find a place where we could have sex but we were stopped at every turn. That last night, when we tried and tried to find a place to do it. He snuck me into his room but the counselor found me and chased me out. We went from place to place but we got caught everywhere we went. We never got to finish what we started.

I left him by the bus the next day. He collapsed into a puddle of tears after I was gone. We wrote long passionate letters to each other that Fall, and we called each other when we could. He came to visit me in December of 1969 in NYC, but by then he had slept with someone else..

We broke up over the Christmas holidays when he came to visit. He barely remembers me now.